Cheesey Llammas
by Emerallass
Summary: One love triangle, two boys in love, and crack heads for heros! Wow this is crazy! (NOT a Mary Sue!) Rated R for Radical language! SlashyAngstHumorwell everything else.


"My seventh year at Hogwarts, how predictable that I would spend it alone," mumbled a girl while she got out of the carriage. She sighed sadly to herself and began to push her way through the crowd of people. As she walked she saw the most famous students in the school. They seemed to be absorbed in their own conversation and looked quite content. This girl had watched the three from afar amazed by their adventures, as had the rest of the Wizarding community. When she got to the castle she walked to the Great Hall. All the students were scattering over to their House tables. She swiftly moved toward the Ravenclaw table and settled herself in an empty chair. Her green eyes scanned the Slytherin table and stopped to peer at a certain silver haired boy, Draco Malfoy, the most sought after boy at Hogwarts. She sighed again twirling her raven black hair around her finger. Suddenly all became silent and her attention was soon consumed by the witch who stood before them. Professor McGonagall stood holding the old Sorting Hat and laid it on the stool. After a short song the hat began to sort the first years into the proper Houses. This took excruciatingly long and bored the hell out of her. One small girl sat in an empty chair beside her. "What's your name?" the little one had asked. "I am Azhure," she answered. Azhure did not quite like children, so she ignored the rambling girl for the rest of the night. Most people were afraid of Azhure even though she was not Slytherin. The cause of their fear was her mysterious aura - the strange way she carried herself. No one knew much about her. The only thing they did know was that instead of having the usual mail carrier of an owl, she owned a crow. She smiled when finally her plate was full of food and began to eat. About an hour passed before all the students were done eating and everyone returned to their dorms. Azhure took out of her bag her favorite Muggle book, The Vampire Lestat, and began to read while she walked. Inevitably she bumped into someone, losing her book in the process. She quickly bent down to retrieve it and when she straightened she stared right into the blue-gray eyes of Draco Malfoy. He looked distastefully at her, "Watch where you're going!" "Sorry," she whispered reverting her eyes to the cover of her book. He walked away cursing her under his breath. Slowly she began to walk back to her dorm again, feeling a rush of embarrassment come over her. Finally getting to the Ravenclaw painting, she muttered the password and it swung open. She quickly found her bed and began to unpack. ~!!~!!~!!~!!~ Johnny winced when he heard the Headmaster tell him he was expelled. Johnny laughed at him, throwing back his hand and slapping it down on the Headmaster's desk. "Oh, I almost forgot! I'm transferring to Hogwarts," Johnny laughed. The Headmaster sneered at him while he casually strolled out the door. One week later Johnny waltzed through the main doors of Hogwarts. He looked around with wide eyes as if he were searching for something. Suddenly, his eyes became fixed on something. A young woman stood before him. She was beautiful in a dark mysterious way. Her hair was as black as his own and her green eyes gleamed with pain. "Could you possibly tell me where the Ravenclaw living quarters are?" he asked as he bowed slightly. "I'm heading there now," she said, "Follow me." He nodded and followed her down the hall. "What's your name," he asked while walking. "Azhure," she stated, "And you are?" "Johnny, but people call me Nny." "Is that spelt how it sounds?" she asked with innocent curiosity. "It's spelt N-N-Y but sounds like knee," he said lifting up his knee and pointing to it. "Oh," she said smiling,"Here we are." They both looked up at a painting of a man holding a plate of food. Azhure then recited the password and the painting swung open reveling the Ravenclaw common room. "To the left is the girl's dormitories and to the right are the boy's," Azhure said. Johnny watched her go through the left door, before he went through the right. Azhure sighed as she laid down on her bed. The guy she lead to the Ravenclaw common room was strange yet very attractive. She could see something in his eyes, an emotion she didn't see very often. His eyes screamed lust for her. The next evening Draco saw the strange new boy staring at Azhure during dinner. Immediately he didn't like the guy. He was too skinny with features too sharp and hair too black. Then an idea popped into his head. He laughed a little and began to form a plan in his mind. After dinner Azhure began to walk back to the Ravenclaw common room. She took out her book again but her hand was suddenly grasped by another. She looked up and her heart seemed to skip 3 or 4 beats. Draco smiled and released her hand. "Hello Azhure," he said. Azhure looked shocked at him. His smile widened. "Did you think that I wouldn't know such a beautiful girl's name?" "Y-yes I mean no I mean..." before she could finish her sentence he pressed his mouth against hers in a gentle yet aggressive kiss. Her eyes shut closed almost immediately. Draco looked around quickly making sure Johnny was watching. When Draco kissed Azhure, Johnny had a look of total shock and then complete anger. Draco pulled out of the kiss and gave Azhure a toothy grin. "Actions speak louder than words," he whispered in her ear. Then silently he walked away. Azhure stood there for a moment, still unable to comprehend what had just happened. Just for the sake of it, let us take a look at our three heroes... Ron, Harry, and Hermione sat outside near the Forbidden Forest huddled in a cloud of smoke. They laughed merrily for no good reason and inhaled their joints. Harry finally realized it was nightfall after asking where the sun went several times. Hermione was talking on and on about nothing in particular, and Ron just sat there drooling. Harry swayed to his feet and began to walk back finding it hard to balance. Hermione talked and followed after Harry while pulling the drooling Ron along the way. Well now that is enough of that rubbish. Draco walked swiftly back to the Slytherin common room and sat in his favorite chair with Crabbe and Goyle staring strangely at each other. Draco made a small laugh at them. "Let me guess, you two are gay," he said mildly. They both stared at him in amazement. "How did you..." Crabbe began. But Draco cut him off stating that he had heard them singing Sunny and Cher songs together. They both blushed and stared at the ground. "I have no problem with that. Don't be such a dumbass," Draco yelled at them. They nodded and then quickly moved away as not to disturb Draco any longer. 


End file.
